Merry Christmas – Here’s Some Gifts for You December 27, 2009
Posted by littlebeadle in Broken Hearted.Tags: Christmas, Dream, Ex-boyfriend, family, Gifts, love
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Though Christmas is not really a feast of gifts the way we celebrate it now, gifts were actually involved. The three kings came and brought gifts. Unfortunately my religious knowledge does not extend much further so I will refrain from saying anything else that might be wrong.
This Christmas I got several gifts. Some were actual gifts, some weren’t really gifts and were nice, some weren’t gifts and weren’t nice. It all started very early on Christmas morning with a dream.
I dreamt that my ex-boyfriend and I were still living together though we weren’t a couple anymore. Our daily patterns were thus scheduled that we didn’t see each other really. But one day I saw him struggle to wrap Christmas presents using glue and I looked at him and he looked up at me and his face expressed a deep unhappiness and some guilt, it was horrible. Then another day, my sister and mum were there, he came to me and said that if I ever wanted to use leather straps in our bed with someone else that would be fine. I immediately saw through this and asked him if this was because he had found someone else to do this with. I was right and I quizzed him about her. I was so upset and angry that I tried to hit him and slap his face but I had my usual dream-strength, which is close to zero. In the end I told him that as long as we lived under one roof no one would be doing anything with anyone else in our bed. I awoke after this and couldn’t sleep for several hours worrying about his wellbeing. Nice gift I thought to myself.
The second gift wasn’t really a gift either but it was nice. We had a white Christmas, which is something that I have never seen in my life. Though it wasn’t as special as one would hope. The snow had been there for days and simply remained for Christmas day. Of course it would have been more special if there wasn’t any snow to begin with and then it would have snowed over night. But nevertheless it was white.
Finally later that evening I got some real gifts. I like receiving gifts, it’s nice. Who doesn’t like receiving gifts? But what I like even better is giving gifts. And I have to say I indeed brought more presents with me then I am bringing back. I love seeing people’s faces when they unwrap presents and the warmth with which they thank you. That for me itself is a present and what Christmas is all about.
Endless Fun with Airports and Air Travel December 20, 2009
Posted by littlebeadle in Broken Hearted.Tags: Airport, Christmas, Delay, Snow, Travel
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According to some advertisements on TV spending Christmas with your family is priceless. Well, that may be so, but the price you have to pay for flying around this time of year certainly comes with a cost. It’s just not one that is measured in money.
I got to the airport all right. I arrived early because I did not want to take the risk of the trains being messed up due to the snow. I had checked the website of the airport in the morning and though behind my flight it just said “scheduled” there did seem to be an hour delay in general on a number of flights.
After I had lunch at the airport I went to see if I could find out where to check in. That’s when I find out my flight had a 2 hour delay. I thought to myself, as long as I’ll get there I’ll be happy so lets try to kill some more time.
Killing time at the airport consists of a limited number of things:
There’s reading, which I had already done during lunch.
There’s eating and drinking, the former of which I had already done and the latter of which I did not feel in the mood for after Tuesday’s Office Christmas Party.
There’s shopping, which I decided to do. I ogled shoes at Clarks without any intention of buying. Next I went into a little book, CD and DVD store. The selection of DVD’s was a ranged from crappy b-films to a few “cherry picked” a-films and a whole bunch of Mae West films which I nearly ended up buying.
And then there’s playing with your laptop. I was about to put in a disc of Roswell (I’m re-watching everything in a phase of teenage nostalgia), when my flight had disappeared from the check-in board. In a panic I got my stuff together and walked to another one where I discovered I was finally allowed to check-in.
This meant I was due to stand in my first line out of an estimate of four or five for this journey. Luckily I chose the line with the best entertainment: there were two scales where people could weigh their suitcases to see if they’re within the limit, at a mere cost of 50p per suitcase (No change given, you can weigh two for a pound but you have to place the second one on within 10 seconds!). The winner was 30.2kg, that’s definitely not within the limit I think.
After I had conquered my first queue I got to go straight into the next one in order to proceed to the lounge. Yet another 30 minutes of shuffling along. This time the entertainment came in the form of a guy who was very much in a hurry. First he tried to just blatantly walk passed everyone but apparently someone had sent him back because he came and stood right behind me. When the queue turned round a corner he thought he had sneakily got in front of me. In reality I had noticed how much in a hurry he was jumping from one foot to the other and sighing heavily, and I had let him pass me. One more guy in front of me would not make my plane leave sooner anyway.
In the next 20 minutes I got to watch him sneak his way in front of 5 more people only to pass everyone in the end anyway because he was in such a hurry. He did all this however without saying one word. Not once did he say “excuse me” or anything else to explain why he was passing people by. And he wasn’t the only one who did this. There was another guy who did the exact same thing without saying one word. I should try this next time I don’t feel like queuing.
Finally I had made it into the lounge. I browsed some more shops though most of them were horribly overprized or just full of expensive items. I’m not sure how this works. The shops you find at airport lounges are always a mix of some normal shops that sell things everyone needs like toiletries, books, magazines food and snacks etc. And then the rest of the shops are all with designer clothes or shoes and expensive jewelry and perfumes. Now I might be mistaken but I think the majority of travelers at the airport aren’t really loaded with money. Unless the idea is that you fly with a low cost airline and spend the rest of your money buying luxurious items at the airport.
After I had eaten something more as a number of hours had passed since lunch, I found out my flight had yet another 55 minutes delay. And after playing with my laptop it became yet another 55 minutes. My one hour flight now had nearly four hours delay.
Finally we got called to go to the gate, where of course there was another wait for us in store, but luckily this airport has lots of chairs near the gate. After finding out I was not going to get my money back, because my airline thinks the whole four hours delay was due to mother nature, I sat myself down. Unlike the majority of the other people who thought that standing in a herd near the gate was going to make the wait shorter and easier. I only stood up once we were already boarding and there was a handful of people left waiting to board.
We did leave in the end. And I made it to my destination. Sorry for the long post. If you have made it all the way to the end chances are you sort of feel like I did when I finally arrived. Thank you for reading.
Breakthrough December 17, 2009
Posted by littlebeadle in Broken Hearted.Tags: Christmas, Ex-boyfriend, hair, imagination, salon
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It’s leading up to Christmas and everyone is getting ready to snuggle up next to the fire. Snow is actually falling here in London and other parts of Britain, but I find it difficult to get that warm and fuzzy feeling inside. All I can think about is what I was doing last year this time and I feel sad that I cannot repeat last year’s festivities in the way I would want to: with the guy I love by my side.
This afternoon I had my hair done, just the colour as I’m letting it grow. I was flipping through one of the fashion magazines they have there ogling ridiculously expensive clothes wondering how many percent of the women who read this are actually able to afford such clothes. The rest of the articles that were in there were just a bunch of really sad stories, which made me feel even sadder in light of my already gloomy mood.
It was there in my slightly uncomfortable salon chair that I had a breakthrough. As my thoughts once again went back to my ex-boyfriend I stopped my train of thought and felt annoyed. Why? Why in the world can’t I stop thinking about him? I want to stop thinking about him.
I know it sort of contradicts the purpose of this blog. I’m writing it for him so that he won’t forget me until we show up in each other’s lives again, as friends that is. But surely I have the right to stop thinking about him.
As my hair was being shampooed I imagined his name had been written two dozen times on my scalp and whoever was rinsing my hair and massaging my scalp was rubbing them off. My head was being cleared of his name.
I am going home for Christmas and New Year’s tomorrow. I will spend two weeks of quality time with friends and family and the last thing I want is to think about him constantly. That does not mean I will forget about him, I just need to stop thinking about him.
Arts and Crafts, Creative Therapy After All December 13, 2009
Posted by littlebeadle in Broken Hearted.Tags: Arts and Crafts, Christmas, Creative, New Year's, Resolutions, Stamps, Therapy
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I have been busy this evening making my Christmas cards. Or actually they’re not Christmas cards, they’re best-wishes-for-the-new-year cards. It has been a very long time since I sent cards this time of the year. So I thought in order to make up for it, I will send hand made ones this year.
When brainstorming what I was going to put on my cards and what materials I was going to use, I remembered how as a child we sometimes made stamps out of potatoes. We’d cut a shape out and then dip it in the paint and stamp it on paper. I thought it’d be fun to do, and I was right.
It wasn’t as easy as I remembered it though. The carving of the potato was easy enough. Aside from the fact that one of my stamps is a letter and I forgot to carve it in mirror image so that it would appear right on the card so I had to redo it. The stamping was less easy though.
Of course my cards are no children’s paintings and thus a little more precision is required, though the somewhat sloppy look gives it a cute edge. Instead of using the stamp as a stamp I had to carefully place the card on top of the stamp and carefully press it down before removing it even more carefully. And rather than dipping the stamp in the paint I had to carefully paste the paint onto the stamps leaving no paint around the edges. But I did manage to make glitter paint simply by mixing acrylic paint with glitter dust and it looks really good.
The cards aren’t finished yet. But they already are a personal success. I say personal because even though there is no end result yet I think they’re going to be great. On top of that I enjoyed doing it so much I wondered why I don’t do it more often. So I guess maybe one of my new year’s resolution will be doing more arts and crafts seeing as how it makes me feel good about myself. Those are the things I need the most at the moment, things that make me feel good about myself.
