Merry Christmas – Here’s Some Gifts for You December 27, 2009
Posted by littlebeadle in Broken Hearted.Tags: Christmas, Dream, Ex-boyfriend, family, Gifts, love
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Though Christmas is not really a feast of gifts the way we celebrate it now, gifts were actually involved. The three kings came and brought gifts. Unfortunately my religious knowledge does not extend much further so I will refrain from saying anything else that might be wrong.
This Christmas I got several gifts. Some were actual gifts, some weren’t really gifts and were nice, some weren’t gifts and weren’t nice. It all started very early on Christmas morning with a dream.
I dreamt that my ex-boyfriend and I were still living together though we weren’t a couple anymore. Our daily patterns were thus scheduled that we didn’t see each other really. But one day I saw him struggle to wrap Christmas presents using glue and I looked at him and he looked up at me and his face expressed a deep unhappiness and some guilt, it was horrible. Then another day, my sister and mum were there, he came to me and said that if I ever wanted to use leather straps in our bed with someone else that would be fine. I immediately saw through this and asked him if this was because he had found someone else to do this with. I was right and I quizzed him about her. I was so upset and angry that I tried to hit him and slap his face but I had my usual dream-strength, which is close to zero. In the end I told him that as long as we lived under one roof no one would be doing anything with anyone else in our bed. I awoke after this and couldn’t sleep for several hours worrying about his wellbeing. Nice gift I thought to myself.
The second gift wasn’t really a gift either but it was nice. We had a white Christmas, which is something that I have never seen in my life. Though it wasn’t as special as one would hope. The snow had been there for days and simply remained for Christmas day. Of course it would have been more special if there wasn’t any snow to begin with and then it would have snowed over night. But nevertheless it was white.
Finally later that evening I got some real gifts. I like receiving gifts, it’s nice. Who doesn’t like receiving gifts? But what I like even better is giving gifts. And I have to say I indeed brought more presents with me then I am bringing back. I love seeing people’s faces when they unwrap presents and the warmth with which they thank you. That for me itself is a present and what Christmas is all about.
Good Old Family December 20, 2009
Posted by littlebeadle in Broken Hearted.Tags: family, Magazine, Self awareness
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When I was at the hairdresser the other evening I was flicking through one of those already explained women’s magazines (see post: Breakthrough). One of the articles in there was about taking a certain number of steps to get along better with your family. I have to admit I did not read the contents of this article so I can’t comment on it, and it is not what I intend to do because I get along with my family.
These articles amaze me. What’s more, people that don’t get along with their family, and most importantly their parents and siblings amaze me. These people are the most important people to me on the whole planet. I love them to bits and we have fun together and I hardly ever argue with them.
I’m sad for people who don’t feel this bond and I wonder whether I should consider myself lucky to have this bond with my family. I mean it is not completely down to yourself as an individual to make this bond work, though there is a lot you can do about it. They say you don’t choose your family, which is of course 100% true. But it is entirely your decision how to interact with your family.
Being around my family again for the holidays makes me realize once again how they know you better than anyone else does. They’ve seen you through highs and through lows and there is nothing you need to hide from them. Of course your family wants you to do well, but they will love you all the same if you don’t. They want you to be happy.
Putting all this sappy talk aside my family is one bunch of nutters, pets included. I won’t go into much detail as I’m putting myself out here on this blog but I won’t drag anyone else into it (except my ex-boyfriend but he is the purpose of my writing). In any case there is no place where I can be myself more than with family. That does not mean I am not myself when I am with friends, it just means that family brings out the best in me.
